Monday, June 14, 2010

Days 76-80 (May 26-30)

DAY 76--

Those eyes. . .I can't get over how BIG they are!! And if you could see Martin's eyelashes. Nurses keep flirting with him because he has such long eyelashes. That's probably why he thinks he doesn't have to come home yet, he wants all this attention!!

Today he's on 2L of O2. He's getting lower! Hopefully we can start breast-feeding again. The more I can feed him, the less I worry about the calories fortifying the milk causing problems again. While I was holding him today, he got a little squirmy and then puked all over me. It was right after he was given his multivitamin. I guess he didn't care much for it!

And he is really starting to love his paci. It's good for him to have it because it helps develop his sucking skills. preemies don't really have any sucking skills, so unlike term babies that use a paci and it being detrimental to their breast-feeding capabilities, when preemies use a paci it helps them build up the strength they need to be awesome.

DAY 77--

Martin is still on the 2L today, and he is not a happy camper. I think he is affected by the nurse. I don't like the nurse he had today. We don't have her very often, and it's been a long time. But since he was moved to this new room we have her again. She's just not as kind and gentle as some of (most of) the other nurses are. When he's upset, she just says "oh, stop crying" and puts the paci in his mouth. Doesn't help him root for it, just sticks it in there. Poor kid. I can't wait until he's home and I can do things the way I think they should be done.

DAY 78--
I love how Martin is looking at me like "What do you think you're doing. . . ." so great! Today was a bittersweet day. It's May 28th, and my due date. I was desperately hoping to be home with Martin by today. And we're not even close. He's 11 weeks old.

They were able to wean him down to 1 1/2L on the high flow O2, which is awesome! And his feeding tube was moved from his mouth to his nose! Woohoo!! They gave me the go-ahead to start breastfeeding again. If we can get him to take all his feedings by mouth, the Doctor is willing to send him home on 1 1/2L O2. Oh, I hope he can get that soon!! I'm ready for my boy to be home!

He was moved back into a crib, which is great. We were able to breast-feed and he took 10mls! That was about normal for him before he got sick. The next time i tried he was WAY too tired to do anything. Complete limp noodle.

Martin also now weighs 5lbs 8oz. He's getting there!

DAY 79--
Martin is back up to 2L high flow. It's amazing how such a little thing causes such distress to me. It's just one more thing to set us back.

The Doctor brought up the concept of a gastronomy tube if Martin won't breastfeed. He thinks because Martin is now past his due date, and not eating a lot by mouth he needs the tube in his belly. It's a surgical procedure, and then I can just feed him however I want. I didn't understand what he was really talking about.

About 1/2 an hour later is when it really hit me what it meant. I DO NOT WANT A G-TUBE. I haven't even been given a CHANCE to work on breastfeeding with Martin!! We get to nurse about 4-5 days, 2-3 times each day (if we're lucky) and then he would get sick. I have nursed less than 2 weeks, and they're discussing opening his stomach and sticking a tube in. Other babies have had WEEKS to work on their breastfeeding skills before the subject is even brought up. I feel completely worthless as a parent. it's frustrating that I can't even feed my baby.

Martin also wouldn't even breastfeed today, which made it even harder to deal with it all. I will do whatever it takes to make sure he doesn't come home with a G-tube.

DAY 80--

This is Martin's new toy, and he LOVES it. It calms him so well. he just stares at the light, and listens to the music. It's wonderful. And we're going to have to invest in one of these!

Martin wouldn't breastfeed again today. It's so hard for me, to not be able to feed him. But I came to the realization, that I will do whatever takes to breastfeed him. If he learns before he comes home, or if he learns in 6 months. We will get it figured out.

I was able to talk to the NNP about his oxygen and how to travel with oxygen. It's going to be a LOT of work, and we don't know how the company works yet, or if it will be possible. We have a family reunion across the country, and we're flying out there. We have out tickets already, and now Martin and I will probably have to stay home. It is possible, but we just don't know how it will work out yet. The company usually meets you at the airport, and gives you oxygen for the flight, and then the company meets you at the end of the flight and gives you more oxygen.

Yeah, it sounds like a lot of work, and could be rather difficult. So we'll see.

I also talked with the NNP about the g-tube, and how I haven't even been given the chance to try bottles with Martin, and we've hardly been able to breastfeed. So she's now on the same page, and understands that I will do whatever it takes to avoid a g-tube.



You are one tough keep those doctors on their toes and make sure to give little martin our best....


WOW!!! I can't believe a doctor would suggest a G-Tube already. I would hold off. Also, about all the Cystic Fibrosis stuff...I think your doctors are headed in the wrong direction with it. If Martin had the blood testing and it was negative...I don't see how he could ever be anything else. I am so sorry Martin is still in the hospital and not eating by mouth like you would want. Hang in there... I remember those NICU days and they made me one strong parent and I still look back and wonder how we ever made it though.

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